1.) Favorite book Unfortunately i don't have time to read any books as an adult , i use to love books as a child and read them incessantly. i read the dictionary by the time i was 9 and had my own set of encyclopedia's by the time i was 12
2.) Favorite quotation[s]I love many quotes , i think they keep your strong and finding words that sometimes you feel but cant get across "NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE DEFINED BY SOMEONE ELSE'S OPINION OF YOU"OR "SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOT TO ACCEPT THAT SOME PEOPLE CAN ONLY BE IN YOUR HEART NOT IN YOUR LIFE!!" 3.) English or Maths?I loved English more than i did math because the teachers i had in school never really took the time or patience to understand that their was more ways to do their math questions rather than their way so i struggled in math, English i loved since i got to write essay and stories and talk about how i felt . just out of the two English is where i can express myself more 4.) Science or Art?Both, science is all about finding the most interesting things in the world maybe not discovered yet, and finding how things like the brain tick, how things work, and i also love art since it is a place where i can be creative the most !!! so out of the two i would choose art 5.) Name five albums or musical artists that changed your life.1-Micheal Jackson - Taught me how to move 2-Bon Jovi- Taught me how to rock out 3-Whitney Houston - Taught me how to love 4- Pink- Taught me to not give a fuck 5- Nicki Minaj - Taught me that different is acceptable 6.) Favourite & least favorite subject at schoolFavorite - Art and Computers Least Favorite - Gym no its not a subject but i absolutely would hate it , 7.) Favorite 'Celebrity with a Brain'Jennifer Anniston 8.) If you could study anything anywhere, what would it be?Vancouver , Canada 9.) What is your 'nerdy little secret'?That i love the smell of paper 10.) Favorite beauty guru[s] who you admire for more than their love for beauty/fashion.Angie aka vintageortacky 11.) If your channel couldn't focus o beauty/fashion, what would it be?Photography 12.) Name some things that you're obsessed with that other people would find strange or geeky.Technology To our big boy Nathan: To my child, May you never be afraid to fly. May you always keep the innocence that you hold at this young age. When you are out on a branch and you feel it shake, have faith that it will steady itself again. Enjoy your individual beauty and uniqueness; never wish that it would change. When you fly go in a direction that will take you places to happiness, don't be distracted by those which will not. You start out so small and fragile, unable to take flight, with time may you be able to fly on your own. I look at you now knowing how blessed I am, to have the baby, the butterfly, I have. May you spread your wings and fly without doubt. I hope that you will give yourself the chance to let your mind wonder, and show you the way. When you spread your wings and fly, know that I will always be there flying next to you, guiding you in the right direction, giving you the strength to wait out the storm, being the one to steady the branch. Above all else know that I love you, my baby and my butterfly, and that you always have my open wings to fly back to. To our little tanner: It starts when they're first born Your heart in the palm of their hand They're so very, very helpless So you vow to do all that you can You change them and feed them You walk them, bounce them and cuddle And with that first little smile Your heart melts into a puddle You cherish their looks and coos You think you couldn't love them more Then they lay a little hand on your face And you know of love's neverending store You watch them learn to coordinate With their little tongue, hands and feet Every day they bring such joy Your life is now so complete They learn to laugh out loud They squeal and they grab and they pinch You feel so proud when they roll over And ecstatic if they scoot an inch In just a few short months Of singing funny, lullaby songs There's just no way you can deny With them is where your heart belongs To our baby girl:
Ten tiny fingers, Ten tiny toes, Two little eyes, And one little nose. A beautiful smile Curly blonde hair A perfect angel Just standing there A blank slate For me to mold A little girl For me to hold She watches my every move Sure not to miss a beat I can't believe I am a mom It's different, but neat My hero, my savior My own little me The love of my life It's hard to believe An unbreakable bond Between her and I No limit to love When it reaches the sky Family Friend Poems Something that really has brought tears to my eyes is the way girls and guys perceive themselves, their are times where i hear people talk about how they wish they were a certain size or they wish to have plastic surgery to fix things about themselves, but what really bothers me is that the world is still basing their figures of what people should weigh by the BMI which is completely out of date , this system was thought up hundreds of years ago and as of today most doctors have stopped using these mathematical calculations, although their is some still that will use it and stand strictly by it.
I have always been a bigger girl , a lot of this has to be with my family background, on my mothers side i am European(danish ) as well on my fathers side i am also European (Norwegian and Irish) , i have a long torso, wide shoulders, wide hips and a booty. Simply based on my genetics i will ALWAYS be curvy , i have fallen in to the trap of not loving who i was and the body god has given me to roam this earth in this life, so i would drink a ton of alcohol and never eat, i only ate food when i had to , one meal a day was common for me , i also took a dive and god focused and work so i worked hard for my promotions and this came with a price and that was to work 6.5 days a week, suddenly food wasn't a priority. I would live by societies rules of i was FAT!! i figured that a size 13 or 15 in pants was HUGE , and a size M or L in tops was terrible. This way of life brought me to a frail 135 pounds. I was so unhappy with who i had become and i was blind to how i was living my life. Since the obsession to get this thin to a toll on me and my mental health , i began to always look in the mirror , always fix my makeup, Excersize 7 days a week for hours a day, wanting to become THIN, took a enveloped everything i did, i couldn't stop thinking of food , calories, scales, diet drinks, makeup, and loosing more weight, since i believed that not only was i still fat , but i NEEDED to feel better by loosing more weight. I became so self conscious , i would dream of being the tiny girl with tiny arms , magazines and celebrities were all i looked to, to get my image of who i must be. I struggled with who i was and questioned everything i did , i made choices and mistakes a thousand times over since i was so unsure of what i needed to be or do in life. I figured i needed to stay with the normal and never go outside the box , the goal was to be accepted. Fast Forward from 18 to 21 where i was in a commited relationship and i got pregnant with my first son , because of how i was living my life so unhealthy i was absolutley so scared of gaining any weight , all these thoughts rushed through my mind as if i didn't think i would be beautiful or loved after if i gained even a pound, 9 months passed and i struggled to eat since my realtionship with food was so very broken. I let myself go a bit and allowed myself the things i was taking away from myself almost as if i had been punshing myself, I gained 80lbs and My son was a healthy 8lbs 1.2oz , After i gave birth i lost all of my baby weight in the first month. I was back to my unhealhty eating habits once again, and each time i would see a doctor they would call me obese and always tell me that i should be 130lbs for 5"8" although since my body type is alot more husky , stalky if you wanna say, it is not possible and is so far from healthy. Fast Forward once again to age 24 where i got pregnant again with my second son and gained 40lbs and he was born 3 weeks early but weighed a healthy 7lbs 15oz, once again i dropped all the weight in the first month . as the years have passed i have gotten to understand what works for me and what doesn't , finding that information was for me to find not some doctor to tell me . when i go to the doctor they claim that i am morbidly obese and that i should drop at least 150lbs , now if i dropped that much they would be barley enough of me left. Just because i am a bigger boned girl doesn't mean i don't excersize and it doesn't mean i don't eat healthy. I have been called every derogatory name in the book for my weight from random people, women and men , kids , doctors, midwifes, nurses, family, friends, the list goes on. I now weigh a healthy 180lbs and today i can stand strong and say i defiantly know who i am and i am OK with the fact that i will never weigh 120 once again and that i will never fit in to a size 2 . I will always have chunky thighs and chunky arms and a bootylicious booty. I work hard everyday to be a better and healthier person, yes i have some set backs , yes i get hard on myself at times but i realized that i don't want to look like the celebrities i don't want to be a carbon copy of the girl down the street . I want to only be myself. I want to feel happy with my body and love all the parts of myself inward and out. I will raise my children to not let society dictate how small or big you should be and that loving you starts from the inside. If your not accepted by your friends for your weight and you end up loosing friends because they only wanted you around to make themselves feel better by bringing you down, then let them go. Here is my advice to the ones who need some inspiration . Let the world pass judgment on you and call you everything they want , but never let this take away from your shine. let your confidence shine through. if you are a size 20 or a size 2 this world is big enough for you. Love whoever you want and be positive . Don't let anyone push you down because you aren't their ideal of what they see. I used this moisturizer morning and at night , I really enjoyed how it was lightweight on my skin and soaked in without having to wait a long time , it isn't tacky after it dries. and a huge plus for me is that is is collagen rich and has SPF 15 , I like a moisturizer that doesn't have tons of oils in it or harsh chemicals, this product is a bit on the expensive side but it's worth it. Where to buy: 60ML for $37.20 USD http://www.beautybay.com/skincare/mariobadescu/collagenmoisturizerspf15/ I have tried a lot of night crèmes , they seem to either be to oily or to thick. I enjoyed this night creme the texture is able to apply easy to your skin , it has a formulation that makes a barrier on your skin, It's a creme that smells like fresh seaweed. It made my skin feel silky and smooth. It is formulated so it doesn't clog your pores Where to buy: 29ML for $32.80 USD http://www.beautybay.com/skincare/mariobadescu/seaweednightcream/ When pimples pop up this is suppose to be applied and dry them out and make them go away faster, it is suppose to be for all skin types and supposivly wont irritate the skin , I have never had sensitive skin , but i have had problems with acne before only small amounts when i am stressed, but when i have applied this to any of my flare ups it just dries my skin out so bad that my face is actually in pain and my face gets super itchy, it did not give me immediate relief, I ended up washing it off . Where to buy: 29ml for $25.10 USD http://www.beautybay.com/skincare/mariobadescu/dryinglotion/ Smelling strawberry's in the warm sun is exactly what this smells like, just as if you were smelling the aroma of all that fresh fruit in the garden but in a face scrub . Their is beads within the scrub that work really well with your skin big or small pores to get your skin really clean. Only a small amount is needed. it can be used for any skin types which is a huge plus in my books. Where to Buy: 118ML for $25.70 USA FREE SHIPPING http://www.beautybay.com/skincare/mariobadescu/strawberryfacescrub/#reviewsTab f you have Oily or combination skin this is the mask for you, sometimes my skin can be oily but this mask was another fail for me, you are suppose to apply this mask and let it sit for 20 minutes then rinse, and only apply it 3 times or less a week. but i find it way to thick to spread and it dries faster than i can get my whole face covered in the product. I didn't like the smell either , it was almost like mint and club soda mixed together.. it was very overpowering. I am sure you will love this if you like the feeling of a thicker mask on your face to dig deep in your pores. Where to buy: 60ML for $30.90 USD Free Shipping http://www.beautybay.com/skincare/mariobadescu/flowertonicmask/ Normally a lot of lotions come in a creme form this comes in a liquid form , and it was my favorite !!!! It is to be used as a toner but at first glance the title is a bit confusing. It feels smooth on your skin, doesn't burn , is not gonna enhance any oily skin types, It doesn't irritate in anyway .It made my skin feel fresh and very clean. Where to buy: 8oz for $25.70 USD http://www.beautybay.com/skincare/mariobadescu/specialcucumberlotion/ This was a different soap than i am use to using, it foamed only a little, didn't really clean my face well.. for $20 a bottle i wasn't impressed, you would have to use other products
The full size bottle has 8oz of Product for $20.60USD Where to buy: http://www.beautybay.com/skincare/mariobadescu/orangecleansingsoap/ Disclaimer: I was provided these products for free for the purpose of reviewing by Mario badescu, My opinions are honest. When did we find out we were pregnant ?
4 Weeks and 2 days ... I took two first response tests on the day my period was suppose to come Due Date? April 7th 2015 What was my first signs? ------> Nausea ------> Bigger Breasts ------> More discharge ------> Just didn't feel right ... I had a gut feeling something was weird and off in my body.. since I had a miscarriage 2 months before this positive test, I wasn't sure if it was still hormones for my last pregnancy. When was our first ultrasound? I was still very very nervous to go in to another ultrasound when my last one ended so dramatically... so I waited until 13 weeks and 3 days What your favorite and least favorite about pregnancy? Favorite? Watching my belly grow Least favorite? Gaining weight and feeling huge ... or the pain of my body getting bigger How does this pregnancy differ from other pregnancies? All my pregnancies were different 1st boy <-------> Found out at 5 weeks Nauseated for a full 3 months throwing up violently ... lots of stress so blood pressure problems so I was induced at 39 weeks ... I Hemorrhaged. lost a lot of blood and had a shoulder dystocia .. Gained 80lbs all together 2nd boy <---------> No nausea.. didn't know I was pregnant until 2 months .... pretty good pregnancy no complications.. he came 3 weeks early on his own ... Gained 40 lbs. all together 1st girl <----------> Found out early at 4 weeks... no nausea... gestational diabetes...gained 30 lbs. so far... she was breech for most of the pregnancy was laying on my nerve (very painful), etc. Do you get any stretch marks? None as of yet Do you have any morning sickness? I had some here and their but nothing to serious Do you have any mood swings? YES!!!!! Sooo much more than any other pregnancy ... something's are like nails on a chalkboard Is this a high risk pregnancy? No not by medical standards Any complications? Gestational diabetes <------> I had to poke myself 4 times a day to keep my sugars under control ..now it has been taken down to two Breech Position <--------> She was on my nerve for most of the pregnancy which was extremely hard I seriously was thinking I was needing a c section Pelvic Bone <------> as of 28 weeks and on .. when she turned to head down .. which is the optimal position.. my pelvic bone is separated making it extremely hard to close my legs .. and sleep or walk long periods of time without pain What gender are you having ? We are having our first girl.. We already have 2 boys Names? Isabelle Leah Hailey (Isabella was my wonderful great grandmother who passed away peacefully at almost 101) Will you be having more kids? Not completely closed to it but defiantly going to focus on career after this baby .. and re look at it again in 5 years plus Formula or breastfeeding? Breastfeeding has never been something my breasts have done well for me , with my first the milk never came in.. with my second I got 2 to 3 weeks of milk then it stopped coming in. When did you start to show? it was very early this time for me 6 weeks I knew I was going to be super round How long did you get to wear your regular clothes? Only a short time ... since I am measuring 4 weeks ahead.. then it became hard to fit in to my regular clothes.. I always have measured three weeks ahead in my other pregnancies but this one for some reason is more. so.. around 15 weeks Home or hospital? Home would be nice but hospital makes me feel very secure Natural or medicated birth? I would love to do it naturally but I know the pain is out of this world.. I can handle it.. but I need that great epidural What is one thing you miss? My regular clothes Will you do a baby shower? Yes in March How far along are you now? 33 weeks by due date but 37 by my uterus Primer:
NYC smooth primer in #684 https://well.ca/products/nyc-smooth-skin-perfecting-primer_52383.html Foundation: Rimmel stay matte mousse foundation in ivory http://www.ebay.ca/itm/New-Rimmel-Stay-Matte-Liquid-Mousse-Foundation-7-Shade-to-Choose-/201028772103?pt=US_Makeup_Face&hash=item2ece3fa107 Eye Primer: Avon in light beige http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Brand-NEW-Avon-Eyeshadow-Primer-Light-Beige-/171237853137?pt=US_Makeup_Eyes&hash=item27de9247d1 Eye shadow: Gold (Inner half) Pigment in #02 Gold http://www.ebay.ca/itm/TOSOWOONG-Makeon-Dia-Pigment-1-8g-/400839375758?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&var=670393560185&hash=item5d53e37b8e Blue (Outer third) Loreal paris eyeshadow color riche quad in 211 in blue haute couture http://www.ebay.ca/itm/LOREAL-Paris-Eye-Shadow-Colour-Riche-Quad-Your-Choice-Many-Colors-/400816707857?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&var=670368806581&hash=item5d52899911 Purple (Outer third) Revlon Colorstay Shadowlinks in #110 plum http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Revlon-ColorStay-Shadowlinks-Eye-Shadow-Your-choice-from-13-Colors-/261744248536?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&var=560618067115&hash=item3cf12c46d8 Eye Liner: Maybelline eye studio lasting drama in blackest black #950 http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Maybelline-Eye-Studio-Lasting-Drama-Gel-Eyeliner-blackest-black-950-/231367159366?pt=US_Makeup_Eyes&hash=item35de8eae46 Lashes: NO lashes Bronzer: NYX Matte blush in medium http://www.ebay.ca/itm/NYX-Matte-Bronzer-CHOOSE-COLOR-GLOBAL-FREE-SHIPPING-/361156594904?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&var=&hash=item54169c4cd8 Blush: Maybelline expert wear in 140 in nude flush http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Maybelline-EXPERT-WEAR-Blush-and-Bronzer-You-pick-SHADE-/141572423433?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&var=440713247529&hash=item20f65fbf09 Lipstick : NYX round lipstick in Pure Nude http://www.ebay.ca/itm/NYX-Round-Lipstick-Lss518A-Pure-Nude-/321524591413?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item4adc5beb35 Hair Color : Clairol in light golden Blonde http://www.ebay.ca/itm/CLAIROL-Hair-Color-NATURAL-INSTINCTS-Honey-Creme-Formula-03G-LIGHT-GOLDEN-BLONDE-/191424097762?pt=US_Hair_Care&hash=item2c91c3ede2 Extensions: #22 clip in hair in golden blonde http://www.ebay.ca/itm/22-Remy-Human-Hair-clips-with-in-Extensions-Fashion-colors-75g-22-golden-blonde-/351237452234?pt=US_Hair_Extensions&hash=item51c76231ca Green Racerback Shirt: XL http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Keep-Calm-And-Work-Out-Womens-Burnout-Racerback-Gym-Tank-Top-Weightlifting-Shirt-/331213191855?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&var=540402769480&hash=item4d1dd83aaf When we are growing up as little girls and boys we are taught trough society that love is something so magical .. so beautiful... so amazing it will bring you to your knees.. In every fairy tail we are taught that the person will rescue you and be all that you ever need in life.. almost as if saying their is one marriage .. one person for each and every person. Making us as children grow up with this interesting ideal that we cant wait to fall in love.. but no one ever talks about the dark side of love.. I went on that hunt as I breezed through life holding that same trust for men.. thinking their has got to be this perfect guy out their for me.. I was one of those woman who only believed in that one marriage .. that guy that I would have children with and that I would stay no matter what.. I truly believed in family.. As strong as I believed in it.. In the beginning he swept me off my feet... When I met him I was young and impressionable.. I had gone through some less than perfect friends. relationships and one night stands.. At this time I was starting to slip away from the belief that people are good .. I was loosing trust for anyone.. I distanced myself from friends and family.. traveling the country .. letting go of the ideal that that amazing guy was standing their waiting for me.. I guess you can say I became cold.. and withdrawn.... I drank a lot since I was beyond lonely.. I worked 6 days a week.. and put my everything in to me instead of someone else. I was beyond hurt. I had my profile on this dating site in which I talked to hundreds of people on a daily basis.. I may have turned cold but I defiantly didn't forget how to communicate with people to entertain myself though the pain. People had no idea behind the computer I drank so much ... A dark secret I kept hidden for a long time.. In all the people that had profiles on this site.. one specific guy messaged me with this long winded message ... telling me all these things that I had always wanted to hear but never really believed. I let his message stay in my inbox thinking he was lying .. all men talked this way to me.. they only wanted something.. that I really wasn't looking for. He kept messaging me and I never responded... until this one day I responded with this long message back ... something told me .. its ok you got to learn to fly one day. A year had gone by we spent thousands of hours getting to know each other.. over social media.. text messages .. phone calls.. chat.. cam.. he wasn't one of those guys who asked for anything sexual . I found this weird ... al the guys I knew asked this hundred times.. I figured he was different.. I felt respected.. I felt like I was falling in love with my best friend.. He quickly became my everything... We talked about everything we had in common.. we seemed so similar .. I took so much time to make sure he wasn't in it for one thing. so I let go and decided to follow my gut feeling and give in to this true love everyone talks about. We first met each other over a year later in person. connected immediately like fireworks, I had nothing but a huge smile on my face melting my heart, this had to be real.. I just knew it. We talked about his 2 prior children and that he kept in contact with them but they were not in his custody, but he told me many stories of how he fought for them, he even carried pictures of them in his wallet, and showed them off every time he came in contact with another parent.. I really truly believed he loved those children and gave him the benefit of the doubt .. that people make mistakes.. I could live with that. We had talked many times about starting family ..we decided this we would go and be ready, 3 weeks later I had missed my period . mine were work this was me, a few weeks later we were confirmed that we were pregnant with our miracle.. I had so much fear but he tome in many conversations our was strong and if I wasn't strong enough he would be my strength , I believed him with all my heart. Things were not to bad until I was about 6 months pregnant .. things quickly took their decent downhill.. He started getting deep in the drug scene .. he started have parties .. he started to stop holding job... He wouldn't speak to me to anymore like use to,, and when he did he gave me only attitude and scowling looks. Fights became horrible.. he would rise his hands to try and punch me , this point I feared him.. and he liked it.. tried everything to help him and support him in all issues no matter what they were he just pulled away me and tried other woman on our couch to sooth his dark needs. I crumbled ... inside god did I crumble... but through all the pain I was so close to walking away but I knew so being born vey soon... needed to be strong. I figured somehow when he saw his son born it would drive him, and the strength of becoming a parent would hold him higher than all of his issues... god was I wrong.. I almost lost my life giving birth to little boy .. he woke up for one week... then went downhill again. When our son was 3 weeks old.. decided that life was to demanding of him... so he tried to hang himself off our deck... Cutting down the rope was a huge vision to this day still burns in my head. He survived.. but was even more of abusive person.. he began to hate everything I was ..even wanted to be.. but he became terribly obsessive of me hated our child .As parent this was extremely hard to swallow. I just couldn't understand this. As time went on .. things got worse.. he stopped eating.. he stopped caring.. he wanted me to return to work to cover all our families expenses when our son was 2 weeks ago. As our relationship went from bad to worse... I had left many times and each time I went back .. He would tell me these stories and lies of how he changed and how he was so grateful to have us back in his life.. I loved him with everything I was , so I stupidly believed him. Each time I went back I was risking my safety.. my sanity.. my child.. but it was like an addiction something In me figured I could change him.. I could help him.. I took him to many doctors appointments , me and the doctor made plan for me to watch him 24/7 since he was always suicidal ... I was in charge of his medications ... I basically took the role of his mother. He fed off the power and enjoyed the control of me having no control over my own life but only helping him.. As it almost inflated his ego on some sick level. He would pick fights just to see what I would say.. make me blow up.. just to break me down.
Time kept going some slow some passing faster than I could read the clock.. He would stand by my door for hours and watch me sleep ... made me wonder if he was plotting to kill me. His look in his eyes suddenly changed from light to pitch black.. It was like mask covering who he was. He took no care in to our son... he only yelled ... as time went on we would battle over how he was beyond strict.. and I didn't agree at all. He never said I love you .. and when he did he never meant it.. it was only to please me in what I wanted to here.. Our second son was born ... things depleted more... he became more distant.. he drank more than I had ever seen him.. he brought weapons in to the house .. I feared for our lives so I hid them all in my safe.. which he didn't have a key to , and I pretended I had lost that key. He broke in to my car with his friends when I wasn't looking ... claiming it was somebody else the next morning.. He then had told his dirty friends the things we had in our home.. and since he always had horrible friends.. always looking for drugs always seeking for something to sell.. They came one night and waited outside my house in different cars .. waiting to see when I would leave.. each time I would approach these cars they would fly off in other instances he would be in the cars with them telling them every detail of me and our kids lives.. sometimes it was other women he was on dates with .. he claimed he was just showing my house off.. One night these people came to my house looking to kill all 6 people in the home.. triggering the security alarm.. lights were on at the time .. all of us were home .. they knew this... After police reports ... court..a protection order and a custody battle... I felt like i had closed a book... We had gotten back together 6 months later.. stupidly I couldn't stay away. I really wanted to believe his stories of change.. which he sold me so well.:( :( I guess in someway I felt abuse was better than single... it was a very twisted way of thinking on my part.. i wasn't thinking clearly .. I was endangering myself , my kids.. everyone and everything I had ever known and this a place he liked me.. VULNERABLE .. very very VULERABLE!!!! .. I was so broken .. I was lost. We spent another 4 months together.. it was HELL.. he chose to not only get violent with me .. emotionally.. physically.. and mentally.. he did this to our kids to.. I spent those months fighting not for him but for my kids.. I knew I had clearly made a huge mistake letting him back in our lives... How did I leave for good u ask? My last straw was when my oldest got in trouble for not being quiet .. and he shoved him in to a corner by pushing his chest... and raised one hand to beat him... people intervened ... and I formed a plan to get out.. my whole mindset changed ... its like all the strength I needed to fight him came flowing in and all my fear went away.. I was in survival mode. No matter what I had to sacrifice I was willing to for my boys.. That next morning I took him to work like nothing was wrong... I just didn't speak to him. .I couldn't look him in the face.. I came back home and packed all of his belongings which fit in to two bags ... and dropped them off in front of his work...As safe as possible ..I sent him a text message explaining why I had to leave.. and that I truly was done .. and he would never see me or the kids again.. Today I stand with full guardianship of my boys,... getting marred again... expecting again... battling everyday to help my children forget the dark days of the beginning of their lives.. making new memories without pain.. I never will stop fighting for them... I am battling my demons everyday with my regrets.. with my pain... but in all my pain I have come through it all... I have changed everything I am.. for the safety of our lives.. I will continue to strive for our dreams. and I will show my boys nothing but love.. they wake up everyday happy.. with smiles .. they don't fear men like they use to.. They don't have behaviour issues like they did.. they aren't afraid anymore.. I will continue to work on not blaming myself for staying with this horrible person ... I take full accountability for my actions.. I am responsible for all the pain I caused in my family by staying when they were begging for me to leave..i am not at peace yet.. but I am fighting tooth and nail t get their. The storm is over now... we are free... we don't live in silence anymore.. we are powerful . Stay Strong with love lola xoxo QUESTIONS:
1 Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? closed 2 Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? no 3 Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? out 4 Have you ever stolen a street sign before? no 5 Do you like to use post-it notes? Yes sometimes , i use them for organizing my calendar 6 Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? No 7 Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Bear i think lol they both sound terribly painful 8 Do you have freckles? Yes 9 Do you always smile for pictures? Sometimes 10 What is your biggest pet peeve? No deotorant .. or over spraying perfume or cologne 11 Do you ever count your steps when you walk? No thats kinda odd and distracting 12 Have you ever peed in the woods? Yes 13 What about pooped in the woods? Yes 14 Do you ever dance even if theirs no music playing? Yes haha 15 Do you chew your pens and pencils? No.. ewwww.. 16 How many people have you slept with this week? 1 17 What size is your bed? Was king now queen i miss my KING 18 What is your Song of the week? Chris brown -love more 19 Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yes ofcourse it is 20 Do you still watch cartoons? Yes i have kids.. so yes i do lol 21 Whats your least favorite movie? the saw movies.. soo lame 22 Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Bora Bora 23 What do you drink with dinner? Juice 24 What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Ranch sauce, or sweet and sour 25 What is your favorite food? Lasagna or cesar salad 26 What movies could you watch over and over and still love? The notebook 27 Last person you kissed/kissed you? ............ 28 Were you ever a boy/girl scout? No 29 Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? yes 30 When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? oh soooo long ago.. email all the way.. modern day letter lol 31 Can you change the oil on a car? No i can't i get it done proffessionally 32 Ever gotten a speeding ticket? only one 33 Ever ran out of gas? No but close 34 Favorite kind of sandwich? Tuna or my moms ham and cheese.. ooo but i also love peanut butter and jam .. i can't choose 35 Best thing to eat for breakfast? eggs , bacon and toast 36 What is your usual bedtime? 2am 37 Are you lazy? No 38 When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? hmmmm... pumpkin , puppy ect 39 What is your Chinese astrological sign? Snake 40 How many languages can you speak? two ... english and french but .. i hate french 41 Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope i read online don't want recycle that much paper 42 Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Hmmm.. legos hahaha 43 Are you stubborn? Yes extremely 44 leno or Letterman? Leno .. he is way funnier 45 Ever watch soap operas? YESSSS their soooo boring 46 Are you afraid of heights? Sometimes 47 Do you sing in the car? Yes lol 48 Do you sing in the shower? Yes always haha 49 Do you dance in the car? Yes lol 50 Ever used a gun? No I believe they should be used for hunting and protection 51 Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? A few months back 52 Do you think musicals are cheesy? Not cheesy but not me 53 Is Christmas stressful? OOOOh yes i always shop to late.. since my years are so busy 54 Ever eat a pierogi? Yes i do .. i love them .. 55 Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry 56 Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Marine Biologist 57 Do you believe in ghosts? Yes i do.. and aliens to 58 Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? All the time , and sometimes its about the most random things and times 60: ike to dance? YES i LOVE IT 61 Wear a bath robe? I need to buy one 62 What do you wear to bed? hahaha naked or a nighty , i really want to wear lingere to make myself feel good about myself but lace is to itchy to sleep in 63 First concert? Backstreet boys 64 Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Walmart , kmart left canada when i was a kid and target is to over priced 65 Nike or Adidas? Nike 66 Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos 67 Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts the bbq flavour is amazing!!!! 68 :Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? nope 69 Ever take dance lessons? No but i really want to still 70 Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? hmmm no 71 Can you curl your tongue? No i can't .. looks complicated 72 Ever won a spelling bee? nope never 73 Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes absolutely.. When i got engaged.. i couldn't breathe and couldn't speak and when i found out i was pregnant with my two boys 74 Own any record albums? Nope my parents sold their collection when i was a small kid 75 Own a record player? No but my parents did years ago 76 Regularly burn incense? I use to when i was a teen , my dad couldn't tolerate the smell so i stopped 77 Ever been in love? Yes still in love 78 Who would you like to see in concert? hmm.. i think katy perry or beyonce 79 What was the last concert you saw? evanescence when i was 18 80 Hot tea or cold tea? both so hard to choose 81 Tea or coffee? tea but i have a love for coffee to especially on those cranky mornings 82 Sugar or snickerdoodles? snickerdoodles ALL THE WAY!!! 83 Can you swim well? I can swim pretty good 84 Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes i can 85 Are you patient? For somethings i have a lot of patience and some i have none 86 DJ or band, at a wedding? Nope 87 Ever won a contest? No never 88 Ever have plastic surgery? No but maybe in the future when i pass 50 89 Which are better black or green olives? I hate olives but if i had to pick .. it would be green olives 90 Can you knit or crochet? No i can't do these at all but my mother and grandma are really good at it 91 Best room for a fireplace? the bedroom for the cozy winter cuddle nights and the living room for the dinner parties 92 Do you want to get married? yes 93 If married, how long have you been married? ............. 94 Who was your HS crush? A guy name David Egan 95 Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? haha no too old for that drama lol but i do get loud and stand my ground if i feel its right 96 Do you have kids? I currently have two boys (3 n 8 months) 97 Do you want kids? i want one more 98 Whats your favorite color? Emerald green 99 Do you miss anyone right now? yea i miss sleep, since i don't get much |
Lola28 year old Mom of 3 under 6 (2 boys 1 girl), TTC baby #4, Married to my soul mate, Photographer, nail artist, amazon reviewer, fashion addict, Looking to make a postive impact on this world one story at a time. I am looking to inspire people with love and peace Archives
June 2017
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