Have you ever been pulled over by the cops?
No , ever since ive been driving I have never been pulled over, and never got in to an accident with another car, I have smashed my car in to a pole , but I have been with people when they were in accidents and pulled over for speeding , just not me... cross your fingers.. I don't want to be pulled over it makes me panic lol Ugly and live forever or pretty and die in a year? hmmm.... I would honestly pic ugly and live forever.. someone will see the beautiful in you no matter how not pretty you are. You discover that your one year old child is because of a mix up at the hospital , would you give your child back in exchange to correct the mistake ? Absolutley not!!!!! I would be way to attached, and everyone in our lives no matter how much time they stay , their is an obvious plan from the heavens above to why they came in our lives for that specific reason. If you could eat one kind of food for the rest of your life what would it be? Pizza or lasagna What keys on the keyboard do you not use? hmmm... I don't use the window key, the right shift key, everything I use Have you eaten anything strange in your life? Not purposely , when I was a child I ate dirt, and when I was doing my sons baby book , I accidentially got my hand in the hot glue and had to pick it all off from my burned hand.. cant say I ate it but some could have gotten in my mouth lol sounds gross sure.. but I didn't do it on purpose lol What is the longest you have gone without sleep? 3 days , between fulltime school, fulltime work , and help raising my nephew in the nights I didn't get sleep for a very very long 3 days What holidays do you celebrate ? Are you a religious person? Xmas Valentines day Halloween Thanksgiving Birthdays (that still counts as a holidays hahaha) no I am defiantly not a "religious person" but I defiantly believe in all gods and am very spiritual Coat:
Fleece Hooded Jacket $33CAN http://www.amazon.com/MyMixTrendz--Womens-Fleece-Hooded-Jacket/dp/B00OFDB2R8/ref=sr_1_9?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1441379781&sr=1-9&nodeID=7141123011&keywords=pea+coat&tag=polyvore006-20 Shirt: Skull Shirt $49CAN https://www.etsy.com/listing/223621765/relic-metal-skull-occult-gothic-pastel Jeans: Old Navy Mid Rise Skinny Jeans $59 CAN http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=717912002&vid=8&tid=onaff2687457&ap=2&siteID=onafcid10420955&cvosrc=affiliate.cj.2687457#close Bag: Henri Bendel Briefcase $525 CAN http://www.henribendel.com/ Shoes: Lace Up Sandals $115 http://www.shoespie.com/product/11325619.html Necklace/Earrings/Ring Set: Black Flower Set $18CAN http://www.amazon.com/Crystal-Rhinestone-Jewelry-Necklace-Earrings/dp/B00AFPOWCM?tag=polyvore006-20 Hoodie:
North Face Lightweight Hoodie $66 CAN http://www.moosejaw.com/moosejaw/shop/product_The-North-Face-Women-s-Lightweight-Full-Zip-Hoodie_10277292_10208_10000001_-1_ Shirt: Paris T-shirt $11CAN http://www.pinkqueen.com/White-Letter-Paris-Printed-Casual-Stylish-Womens-Tee-Shirt-g47712?utm_source=polyvore-ca-&utm_medium=cpc-desktop &utm_campaign=t-shirts Crop top: Posh girl vegas leather Crop Top $115CAN http://poshgirl.us/ Leggings: Ultra Soft Leggings $26CAN http://www.maurices.com/product/index.jsp?productId=65316926 Necklace: Betsey Johnston Camera Necklace $73 CAN http://www.lordandtaylor.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/lord-and-taylor/camera-long-pendant-necklace/?site_refer=AFF001&mid=40480&siteID=Hy3bqNL2jtQ-mtYAttgJEPHDCftTKANsCw Bag: Betsey Johnston Bow Tote Bag $155 http://www.dillards.com/product/Betsey-Johnson-BowLette-Tote_301_-1_301_505587347?categoryId=-10032&di=04581403_zi_fuchsia_stripe&facetCache=pageSize%3D100%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1&cm_mmc=Linkshare-_-Hy3bqNL2jtQ-_-null-_-null&linkshare=http://www.polyvore.com/affiliate Shoes: Guiseppe Zanotti Cutout Sandal $770CAN http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MTSCR8O/ref=asc_df_B00MTSCR8O3877612?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&tag=polyvore006-20&linkCode=df0&creative=395093&creativeASIN=B00MTSCR8O Shawl:
Fringed Kimono Jacket $125 CAN http://www.navabi.co.uk/product/textured-fringed-kimono-jacket-31457/?colorcode=2400 Dress: Black Daisy Printed Sleeveless Knit Vest Dress $32 http://www.wsdear.com/black-daisy-printed-sleeveless-knit-vest-dress-plus-size.html Bag: Womens Large Dome Satchel Handbag $47 http://www.target.com/p/women-s-large-dome-satchel-handbag/-/A-17087187 Wallet: Kate Spade New York Cedar Street Lacey Zip Around Continental Wallet $235 http://www.overstock.com/Clothing-Shoes/Kate-Spade-New-York-Cedar-Street-Lacey-Zip-Around-Continental-Wallet/10332015/product.html?CID=234727&utm_medium=display&utm_source=polyvore&utm_campaign=display Shoes: Suede Short Boots $43 http://www.nastydress.com/pg/91625.html?lkid=2353 Products Used:
Pink; Probelle in 0307 addiction- pink creme http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Probelle-Nail-Lacquer-Choose-From-40-Colors-/291262951969?var=590410690134&hash=item43d09ff221 Glitter: Wet n Wild Fergie in Flossy FLossy Pink Champane http://www.ebay.ca/itm/NEW-WET-N-WILD-FERGIE-GLITTER-NAIL-POLISH-IN-FLOSSY-FLOSSY-PALE-PINK-CHAMPAGNE-/230899298110?hash=item35c2abaf3e Tools to create this look: Base http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Pro-Nail-Art-Tips-Primer-Base-Gel-For-Acrylic-UV-Gel-System-Manicure-Tips-SGZ-/351192805001?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item51c4b8ee89 Clipper: http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Pink-Edge-Nail-Art-Manicure-Acrylic-Gel-False-Tips-Clipper-Cutter-nail-scissors-/281663981695?hash=item41947b487f Acrylic Powder: Clear http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Clear-Pink-White-Acrylic-Powder-Nail-Art-Tips-Manicure-Crystal-Polymer-Builder-/251876151495?var=&hash=item3aa4fd10c7 Nails: Round http://www.ebay.ca/itm/500pcs-French-False-Natural-Full-Round-Cover-Acrylic-UV-Gel-Nail-Art-Tips-Tools/171748675445?_trksid=p2047675.c100005.m1851&_trkparms=aid%3D222007%26algo%3DSIC.MBE%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D20140620091118%26meid%3De0c0de6ef4ff49de90ca222714f3d845%26pid%3D100005%26rk%3D3%26rkt%3D6%26mehot%3Dpp%26sd%3D231353908240 Brushes: http://www.ebay.ca/itm/15pcs-Nail-Art-Gel-Design-Painting-Pen-Polish-Brush-Set-/201154340475?hash=item2ed5bba67b Dress: Baroque Front Prom Dress $110 http://www.vestry.com/Product/72/4943/Little-Mistress-Baroque-Front-Prom-Dress?awc=3483_1441596924_7f4416fa52a749a8efe402e86760af39 Earrings: CZ Crown Sapphire Color Chandelier Earrings $48 http://www.bluefly.com/bling-jewelry-bling-jewelry-cz-crown-sapphire-color-chandelier-earrings/p/360911301/detail.fly?pcatid=cat1310026&utm_source=polyvore&utm_medium=cpc_CAdesktop&utm_campaign=earrings Shoes: Ravish 72 Pump $39 http://zooshoo.com/products/qupid-shoes-ravish72hotpinknubpu Bag: Michael Kors Selma $395 https://www.italist.com/en/woman/bags/michael-kors-selma-handbag-in-raspberry-saffiano-leather/293677/337377?sembox_source=PolyvoreCA&utm_source=PolyvoreCA&utm_medium=cpc&sembox_content=Feed&utm_content=Feed Shirt:
Anchor Print Oversized T-shirt $39 CAN https://www.etsy.com/listing/240245770/anchor-print-oversized-off-shoulder-raw Shorts: Distressed Mid to High Wasted Cut off Shorts $32 https://www.etsy.com/listing/183866858/distressed-mid-to-high-waisted-cut-off Boots: Jilsen Quality Boots $440 http://www.navabi.co.uk/product/block-heel-calfskin-boots-21580/?colorcode=1700 Bag: Black Tasseled Backpack $62 http://www.lucluc.com/lucluc-tassels-magnetic-black-trendy-expandable-backpacks-bag.html Perfume: Marc Jacobs Daisy $185 http://www.lucluc.com/lucluc-tassels-magnetic-black-trendy-expandable-backpacks-bag.html Eyeshadow: Forever 21 Nude Eyeshadow Pallet $10 http://www.forever21.com/shop/ca/en Lipstick NYX Matte Lipstick - Violet $7.94 CAN http://www.amazon.com/NYX-Matte-Lipstick-Shocking-Pink/dp/B005FYJBFG/ref=sr_1_6?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1439703808&sr=1-6&keywords=lipstick&tag=polyvore006-20 Coat:
Ledbury Pea Coat by Boden $340CAN http://www.boden.co.uk/en-GB/Womens-Coats-Jackets/Coats/WE500/Womens-Ledbury-Pea-Coat.html?NavGroupID=2&awc=1669_1441508500_3bf5848c581a000783d525d2a34bf679&sc=5B4X&cm_mmc=AWUK-_-92295-_-AW15-_-text&utm_source=Affiliates&utm_medium=AWUK&utm_campaign=AW15 Shirt: Chiffon Butterfly Top by wearall.com $41CAN http://us.wearall.com/kyla-chiffon-butterfly-top Pants: High Waisted Plus Size Skinny Jeans $40.CAN http://www.modaxpressonline.com/High-Waisted-Plus-Size-Skinny-Jeans-White-561p120461.htm Shoes: Camel Lace Up High Heel $21CAN http://www.lollicouture.com/shoes-booties-fk1-compose-03camel.html?utm_source=polyvore_feed&utm_medium=cpc Bag: Tshirt and Jeans Qilted Backpack $40CAN https://www.nordstromrack.com/shop/product/1318007?cm_mmc=feeds-_-polyvore-_-desktop-_-ca&utm_source=feeds&utm_medium=polyvore&utm_campaign=desktop&utm_campaign=ca&sid=545860&aid=desktop What is one thing you would do differently if you didn't become a mom?
At the age of 17 I was getting ready to move to Australia, I felt it was calling me .. I felt like I needed to start my career as a a photographer over their . its my favorite place in the world .. I had a friend where I worked (in retail) where she saved for 2 years and left with barley anything to start a better life to live her dreams , I was inspired, she was so full of freedom and peace. its what I needed... but I ended up traveling alone for 2 years and moved a few places but never settled down , I tried dating a little bit and then settled down with someone for 5 years when I came back to my home town. (that failed miserably lol ), but I felt like I needed to stay and I then settled down with my current husband and haven't looked back since. How often do you go over the speed limit? When I first started driving I was a speed demon , it was really fun and I loved the rush , as I got older I have learned that you can not be a fool and do these stupid things lol.. (I crashed my first car, it got written off .. scary) so now I barley speed... guess you can say I'm way to nervous to get in to an accident with my family , so I now follow the rules . When you dream how old are you? and what are you doing? I am standing beside the beach , feeling the warm air brush through my hair, as I am watching the sunset , I am about 30/40 ... I'm feeling the hot sand in between my toes, listening to the waves crash upon the beach the other happy place I go to in my dreams is I am walking in a field of flowers , I am wearing a white sundress , and bare feet as I have my arms spread side to side and I have the biggest smile on my face. this brings me the most peace . How important to you to look really good? I can not say that I dress up everyday , I can not say that I put makeup on everyday, sometimes pajamas are just fine for me. I think as the next generation we are squashing society by making the assumption that you need to look a certain way , all the time.. people don't understand that to do our makeup, hair and clothing all perfect takes time, and as parents as college students as business women we don't have time to be that perfect. I believe that people need to be able to be happy with themselves with or without makeup on. I think people need to stop judging people so harshly. We need to show others that its ok to be whatever they want to be.. this standard where girls are starving themselves to brittle bones to fit in to that Chanel dress that only comes in a size 2 , is physiologically turning people against each other. People need to remember that effort is good for our self esteem yes, but you can put your sweats on and do basic makeup and still look beautiful . Do you think people are born intelligent or do you think someone can learn intelligence? I believe people are born intelligent , I truly think that their is a little spark in those who are intelligent , that when people look at them they say their is just something about that person but I cant put my finger on it .. that's what it is .. they are something special . Have you ever thought of adopting a child ? if so why or why not? Yes I love the idea of adopting children , their was a point in my life where I was told by doctors I couldn't have my own children . (although they were liars) a part of me would love to foster kids.. I really think is something I'm meant to do in life. Who was more strict your mom or your dad? My mom forsure!!!! my dad had his moments Dress:
Forever 21 Plus Belted Chambray $37CAN http://www.forever21.com/shop/ca/en Wallet: Sweet Bow Wallet in Black $12CAN http://www.stylesforless.com/bow-pu-flap-wallet-1000055865?92=123&174=18 Watch: Black Watch by Larsson and Jennings $430 CAN http://www.larssonandjennings.com/shop/lader/lader-black-classic-watch Ring: Maylee Ring by stella and Dot in gold http://www.stelladot.com/shop/en_us/p/jewelry/rings/rings-all/maylee-ring-gold?SSAID=256758&utm_source=shareasale&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=256758&utm_content=334550 Necklace: Love charm Necklace $25 http://shoplaluce.com/products/minnie-grace-gold-love-charm-necklace?variant=815723321 Shoes: Wedge Booties by j serene $43 http://www.jserene.com/bamboo-dani-essential-chic-round-toe-suede-hidden-wedge-ankle-bootie-jserene_100_10705_opt1428.html Nathan has a special place in my heart because he was my first baby .. I had never been pregnant before him.. I had a few scares like all women do but nothing ever came .. when I got pregnant with Nathan I was in a really great place.. I was in a relationship that I spent a year trying to get in to and make sure this was the person I was going to spend my life with . Things spiraled out of control in my relationship as my pregnancy went on, my ex became increasingly abusive, hated any kind of authority or being told no, his drug habits spun very deep as well as his financials were deeply cutting our family apart. Time had gone on and I didn't understand as a young woman in her 20's what the hell was wrong with him. I felt like I had spent so long trying to understand every part of him down to the core of who he was. ... I had found out when it was to late.. upon the first meeting with his mother ... that he had serious issues with his mother when he was 7 years old... his mother said that things had gotten so bad.. she had told me he was very violent towards her, he stole , did drugs and had a very bad crowd of friends behind him, his mother made the ultimate choice (in my opinion was only making the situation worse) she had enough of trying mediations, doctors appointments, and his very temperamental behaviour that she got him to pack all of his stuff and drove him to a homeless center for kids, in some way maybe she got fed of of trying to hit her head against the wall and maybe she thought these people would give him a better life than she could .
His life spun out of control as he grew in to teenage years , and he got deeper and deeper in to drugs and jail .. when I met him he had claimed he was in a good place away from any of the problems he had prior to meeting and starting a family with me. I didn't put much thought in to his past as I didn't want him to feel like I was judging him .. I merely let it go and tried to see him in the light he was presenting to me as we were starting our family and had a little boy on the way ... Our relationship fell deeper apart as more and more deep rooted spite and secrets came out . including infidelity on his part and violence had become in tolerable. When I had given birth to Nathan it took me for a terrible surprise as I had to fight to keep him as his shoulders got stuck in my pelvis and I hemorrhaged pretty bad . I took it like a champ and grew along side him .. instead of blaming him in any way for his arrival in to this world.. I basically did everything myself in the first weeks since my ex fell further apart and by the time Nathan was 3 weeks old he tried to hang himself off the deck, sighting that I had no more time for him and that he felt all the attention was going to our baby instead of him. I never understood where this had come from , so for the best for me and Nathan I let him go . our safety was more important that keeping him in our lives.. he was destroying himself willingly and I wasn't going to let him destroy us. Nathans behaviour from birth was a typical little boy, he hit all his milestones , he loved food, he loved sleep, he was a very happy little chunky monkey ... but by the time he was 6 months things seemed to shift a lot more than I ever knew they could. It was like this darkness came over him , his personality was very different , the happy baby was slowly slipping away. Suddenly he wouldn't sleep anymore , he was a afraid to sleep as his nightmares would intensify to a point where most nights he was screaming all night without being calmed down at all. On the days you knew it would be a bad day his eyes would go almost black (pretty scary he has bright blue eyes) As a mother it is torture to watch your own flesh and blood from suffer from something you really don't know what it is , you know the facts in front of you , you are begging the medical system for help and all they can say is opinion after opinion that doesn't even matter for his treatment. They put you on waiting lists you never asked to be on, they know how serious his problems are and yet they want us to wait almost a year to get him any kind of help, its absolutely terrible. When Nathan has his melt downs I get so angry , I usually collapse in my hubbys arms at night and just cry, because dealing with Nathan's problems takes you to a place of anger that you have never been before, it takes everything out of you , you don't sleep anymore because of his nightmares and you have to calm him down . You have to get in the middle of the almost fatal fights between him and other kids as well as his own siblings, its awful !!!.. you have to be the strength in front of him but behind closed doors I am a wreck , I just hold it together in front of him so that I don't show him that I cant handle him. If their was a limit of trying everything I think I have crossed It many times. I am not saying that I cant handle him, I can and have done so for all of his life and will continue to help him until my dying day when god calls me home and says he is finally alright to take care of himself , but my struggle takes all of everything I have out of me, you get a glimmer of hope some days when u feel like that little boy with big blue eyes where you can see right through him and his beautiful soul comes back and you cherish those moments when you can truly see the real him , I believe it prepares me for the moments when he goes downhill , when I feel like I cant get up , I cant yell anymore, I cant put him in time outs, I cant calm him down, I cant listen to him screaming anymore, when I am punched and lashed out against when he cant get his way, when he corrects me when I don't say what he wants right, it reminds me of those moments when I know the real Nathan is in their , it just is severely hidden but something chemically wrong in his brain. I try and do what I can for him, I really don't want to yell. its not me , I am more of the quiet type , but his issues really can be so overwhelming this is what is the only thing that he stops and knows I am angry for whatever he is doing. At times my anger towards him makes it worse and I know this, but at those moments I dial it back cause the last thing I want to do is hurt him. Waiting for doctor appointments for specialists is beyond hard , because once we as parents know what is available to him whether it be meds, play cancelling, special activities, etc. we will go out and find as much information as humanly possible about what he has and give him everything he needs, we dont believe that giving him medication and letting him walk in to this world is the only answer no, we believe that we are as much part of his growing and learning as he is about himself. We want to be strong pillars of support for him , we need to be the ones who guide him beyond his issues. we as a family love him and support him deeply, through all the trials he will endure .. stay on the journey while we go through the ups and downs with our oldest until our next update from our family to yours stay strong xoxo lola |
Lola28 year old Mom of 3 under 6 (2 boys 1 girl), TTC baby #4, Married to my soul mate, Photographer, nail artist, amazon reviewer, fashion addict, Looking to make a postive impact on this world one story at a time. I am looking to inspire people with love and peace Archives
June 2017
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